whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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69

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Hi

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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banana

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1,984

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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