What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

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Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

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Get in the car.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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