What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Apple.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

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1,984

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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