What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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