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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

Why Does God Hate Gays? He Doesent, God Does Not Exist.

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

Where does a homeless person live? No where

i hate anti-jokes ;)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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