A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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4 is half the number 8 is.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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What's worse than listening to Justin Beiber? Getting hit by a train.

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops