What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What's worse than death? Nothing.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Whats worse than having a woman faking an orgasm? Having a guy fake one.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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