Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

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A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

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Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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