Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. You are under arrest for sodomy.

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What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

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Q: What did William Wallace say to Beyonce after Taylor Swift's performance? A: Nothing, because William Wallace has been dead for some time now.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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69

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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