Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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