Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Dont look at me.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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A woman's opinion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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