What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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