How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call a fly without wings? A fly without wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops