How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than a Holocaust in your apple? What.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's 9 + 10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a dirty black person? Unhygienic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops