Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -9

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a mexecan guy walks in a bar he ask how much is a beer.its $400 and 55'.WHAT THATS SUCKSISH.no i just like to joke its 1 dollor.oh.....shut up go walk in a bra!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your biggest fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman and Robin say when they were going to the Batmobile? To the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops