A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is a bracket? a bracket

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why is 6 afraid of 7 its not, they actually have a domestic partnership going

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding half a sticker in your apple Half a worm

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops