What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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Womens' sports

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender gives him a bowl of water because it is hot outside and he doesn't want the dog to dehydrate because he could die.

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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