Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

lipstick pig

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

A priest and a rabii walk into a bar. Both men, despite both being good people and well respected in their communities, aren't able to overcome their differences which are signified by their religions. Both men later leave the bar and surround themselves with people of their own kin.

What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

How does shit taste?\ Good.

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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