What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

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what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't reply because horses don't speak. However, he is confused and scared by the unfamiliar surroundings. Trying to escape, the horse breaks his leg. The horse must be put down.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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