What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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Please Rape William Wright

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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