What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Adele walks into the stables

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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women's rights

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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