A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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Three men of different ethnic and socio-economic upbringings enter a pub. A strange situation befalls them or a question is posed. The first two respond in turn, in manners typical of their profession or educational background. The third, however, either draws on his specific expertise and responds so as to outwit the others, or makes an egregious and pun-filled blunder, leaving himself open to mockery by his peers.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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Hey Lamar, guess what. No Oh ok haha Otarts was here

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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oooh look a banshee

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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