Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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So this old redneck is sitting on his porch when he sees this boy walking down the road and hollers "What you got there boy?" "Chicken wire." "What you gonna do with that?" "Gonna catch me some chickens." The old guy thought: Dumb boy. You can't catch no chickens with chicken wire. Later that evening he sees the same boy walking with a bunch of chickens. The next day he sees the same boy walking with duct tape. "What you got there boy?" "Duct tape" The boy replies. "Gonna catch me some ducks." The old man leaned back and thought. "Dumb boy, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Later that evening he sees the boy walking with a bunch of ducks. The next day he sees the same boy and hollers: "What you got there boy?" "I got me some pussy willow." The old man hollers: "Hold on, let me get my hat."

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

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What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Carrot fingers

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops