you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

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Ken wins!

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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Are you a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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