A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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This is not a joke

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops