What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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why didnt Joe drive the tractor today? Because Joe doesnt have any arms or legs. Why doesnt Joe have any arms or legs? A) Because Joe is a potatoe

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Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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Just Replying to Brock Facebook request Brock you should know by now that i am at your school talk to me there. Plus i loved the kiss you gave me in science. Now that tested my chemistry. Hehe. Emma Brown xOxOxOxXXXXXoOOOOO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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