A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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4 men walk into a bar. They have fun. ~Yasmin~

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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E= McVagina

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Before Super Mario existed what did people play? Instruments.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops