What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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penis

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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Here's another:

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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knock knock get lost!

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?J?o?k?e?

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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