What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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racism...deal with it!

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mud slide What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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angelosnyder is not gay

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops