Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

What did Delaware? A coat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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