Pull my finger ouch..

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Lol Nerochan, that was like totally awesome!

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What do you get when you cross a muslim and a mexican? i don't know, i just thought that this would make an interesting question.

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what happend to Helen Keller when she fell in a hole She climed out of the hole

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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