what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Poop swing

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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