Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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Q:Way C'nt U reed tHis? A: Because im retarted -ian surprenant

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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are you gay does your mom know

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? 1 dead babies in 10 trees.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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pauls tuck

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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