Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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A blonde girl walks into a car.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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The Game

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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