Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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penis haha

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

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How do you kill the circus? You chop it's head off.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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