How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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Obama

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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canaan and mallory

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Ask me if im a tree! Are you a tree? No

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops