What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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GADZOOKS!

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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so... how about that airplane food

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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