Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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XD, Okay, but you gotta marry me too XD Its working again I am skipping class tonight, how about you come by uh, the day after tomorrow? And bring condoms I don't have any.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Every zoo is a petting zoo if you're not a pussy

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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crap!!

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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Anyone??????????/

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This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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