Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Loner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops