What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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Knock knock Who's there? Illiteracy.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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