How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She says ow

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? I like Pie. I like Pie who? What do you mean who? Pie isn't a person, it's a thing.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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