Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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What did the guy and girl do at the wedding? Nothing, The guy is gay

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Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Donald Trump

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Why do I hate food? I don't.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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