A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Your momma's so fat that she has a body fat percentage of 37 and is clinically overweight.

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops