How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and is incapable of going to down stairs without aid.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the man without a tongue say...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the girl lose her appetite She was stabbed repeatedly with a switch blade.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

penus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops