guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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