What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

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<=3 penis

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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book 'em danno

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knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

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Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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