What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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womens rights.

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why do i love my iphone because its a very versatile electronic device with many uses and i can get the anti-joke app

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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What did the wife say to her husband when he arrived home from work? Nothing. She cried over his coffin. Her husband was a marine who died in a car bombing in Iraq.

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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