What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

Grammer is very important

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

A blind man walks into a wall.

Gangnam style

Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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