What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

thumb_up thumb_down +7

one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Colby Michael Schluter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How long is a china man?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks have herbivorous diet mainly consisting of wild grasses, berries, as well as agricultural crops when they are available.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

We are lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +5

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops