i used to think i had the coolest secret handshake with helen keller. then i realized she was talking sh*t about me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: knock knock who is there A;dunno go check

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

all hail based mark

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I exited the hospital one day, I spotted a sign saying "Come back soon!" Soon afterwards I saw people protesting to ban dihydrogen monoxide. The next day on tv I saw an ad for a solar powered lightbulb. Then I saw a Gun control poster. I cried, this being the dumbest thing I had seen yet, and the world was certainly doomed due to humanity's general stupidity. I saw a chicken crossing a packed road. Why did the chicken feel the urge to cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black, dangerous and sits in a tree ? A crow, with a machine gun !

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the boy sad? because.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do cats burp quietly, because they aren't men

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops