A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

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._____________________. Whale!

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

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canada

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops