If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is 1+1? It's 2!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

TIMMAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops