Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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How do you get pikachu on a bus? Rape his wife and point a gun to his head and tell him that he'd better get on the damn bus before you shoot him. Btw sorry if I just double posted. I am on an iPad at school.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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A guy starts writing a gag for a joke site. But then he couldn't think of a punchline.

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

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Are you a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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