How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

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A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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