What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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