What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

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Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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What caused the Berlin Wall to come down? Gravity

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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u jelly?

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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