If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

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Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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Gun Control

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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