Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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Why was the black boy late for school? He missed the bus

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Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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