Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

What comes after 69? 70

Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

Obama

I was watching two muffins baking in an oven. One said to the other, "Wow, it's hot in here." The other one said "Wow! A talking muffin!" I went to my psychiatrist the next day, to increase the dosage on my medication.

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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