How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

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grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr can u find the r

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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A man walks into a bar.

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how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops