What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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Mark Wilson

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7

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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It's only racist if you consider them people.

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

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Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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