what has four wheels and opens using a key? -a trunk on wheels

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

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Religion.

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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What do you call a smart blond? There aren't any so there shouldn't be a name for it.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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