Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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