What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Obama getting elected in 2012.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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yo mama so old she was a waiter at the last supper.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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religion

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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